Guess Who's Still Alive?

Each of these, inexplicably, has a top 100 album on Amazon right now.

• Rod Stewart (He pooped his pants, though)
• Darius Rucker (Regrettably, the album is not called "Learn to Live With People Thinking Your Parents Named You Hootie")
• Tom Waits (For No Man *rimshot*)
• They Might Be Giants (Shouldn't we know by now?)
• Yo-Yo-Ma (I can't make fun of him. He's a cellist. There's absolutely nothing funny about cellists. They're like actuarial tables or Whoopi Goldberg that way)
• Lyle Lovett (No, really)
• Barbra Striesand (Looks like she's been to Cher's plastic surgeon, though)
• Whitney Houston (Bobby's college money is still not for bail, though. She ain't playin')
• Kris Allen (Who?)