Did Jack White Punch Someone at the Spin Office?

I'm kind of curious what causes a particular magazine to start a vendetta against a band. I mean, was there something actually wrong with Icky Thump, that Spin let loose Brian Rafterty for a whiney, B- half-hatchet job two years ago? What manner of nerd hears the delicious boogie of "Rag & Bone" and dismisses it as something "he could have written while slumbering away on his color-coordinated pillow" (completely unacceptable in garage rock, don'cha know)? For my part, I don't consider myself a "die-hard Meg fan," but I don't really have a problem with "St. Andrew, the Battle is in the Air," because 1) it essentially builds off of "Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn," which immediately precedes it, and indeed functions as an outro to that song, and 2) it's short. The whole review reads like a mass of projection: Raftery woke up pissier than a bladder stuffed with Boone's Farm and decided to send in his hangover reaction as a review. In the same issue, some genius decided that he could be dismissive by pretending that it was relevatory to link Jack White's guitar style with that of Jimmy Page (so how does it feel to get scooped by Guitar World?)

Of course, when year's end came along and the damn thing had peaked at #2 and spent 32 weeks on the billboard 200, they decided Icky Thump belonged on their Top Ten albums of the year, calling "Rag & Bone" in for particular praise. Because they're a bunch of whores.

So why on God's Green do I bring this up now? Because When it came time to cobble together this year's Top 40 (Kiss? Really?), they couldn't let Dead Weather's album by without snarkily insinuating that "Jack White is just trying to distract us from the fact that the White Stripes have faded to black." Oh, they have? Is that why they're releasing a live box set from their '07 Canadian tour this month? Is that why they're tossing out Beck-produced EP's? Are they really expected to poop out a new record every brace of years just to keep you from going all "so five minutes ago" on them?

I mean, I realize you're riding the tail-end of a Merriweather Post Pavilion - inspired electro-folk frisson, but that's no excuse for deciding that garage rock suddenly sucks. The Stripes haven't changed, and probably never will. If you dweebs weren't so busy riding the music-industry double-helix like the Rebel Yell at King's Dominion, you'd know that.