Rating My CD's: No, Walk This Way.

2. Aerosmith -- Toys in the Attic

Mainstream platinum album-sellers like Aerosmith that survive for more than ten years do so because at some point they've created something worth remembering, that draws from the most jaded critic the nod of satisfaction, that vinyl collectors and people who "like everything but country and rap" alike agree is classic rock (whatever that might mean). Whatever tedium they've cashed in on in recent years, Aerosmith met this criteria and earned the recognition of not sucking on their early albums.

Sure, their blues-inflected rock was, as Jon Savage put it in England's Dreaming, well past the initial point of inspiration, sure, even at their best, they made music best suited to getting drunk to. So what? Getting drunk is one of the human race's favorite activities; anything which enhances the joyous aspects of this and minimized miserable ones is to be commended. This is what the hipsters and haters refuse to get: not only is there wealth buried amidst the lowest common denominator, there's even merit in the mining of it.

As an example, Toys in the Attic, otherwise an unremarkable early 70's hard-rock disc, boasts "Walk This Way" and "Sweet Emotion." Everyone who likes or doesn't like Aerosmith knows "Walk This Way" and "Sweet Emotion." People who hate Aerosmith still like "Walk This Way" and "Sweet Emotion." And well they should; these songs are an apotheosis of the genre: throbbing bass lines, slashing guitar, solid writing, and Tyler encapsulating every sneering horndog from Robert Johnson to Mick Jagger. You could bury these songs in a time capsule with the label "This Was Hard Rock" and leave it at that.

Two other tracks stand out. the title opener combines a pleasing rockabilly shuffle with some sharp production tricks, including some layered vocal fades, yielding a sound surprisingly modern and fresh. Less satisfying, but perhaps more memorable, "My Big Ten Inch Record" manages just enough self-awareness and spirit to be forgiven the lameness of its joke. The remainder settles comfortably into blues-rock competence, neither blowing your mind nor boring you.

I didn't buy this: my sister, a huge Aerosmith fan, gave it to me for a Christmas or Birthday present, thus handily winning the award for Best Unsolicited Gift Music (admittedly, the only real contender was a Blind Melon tape an aunt gave me). It doesn't make the rotation all that often, but I can't imagine getting rid of it. Sometimes a man just needs to hear "Walk This Way" and "Sweet Emotion."

Grade: L