Reminiscing You

On the one hand, it never bothers me to see the nose thumbed at the hipster doofii, and prejudices in music condemned. Almost all music is better than its detractors would have it, or else it would not have fans. So Frank Valish's "Musical Explorations, or My Ever-Shrinking Indie Cred" blog is generally a good thing.

On the other hand, there's certain things I don't like to see revisited:

*Shudder*

I remember the days when almost every band looked like this, and I remember it sucking. There's just such a uniform blandness, intensified and not diminished by the obligatory androgyny. So when Valish writes:

Thankfully, however, if one digs beneath the surface of Waite's pop career, there are more than a couple laudable compositions, and the second part of his set on this night featured some of this more gratifying material. In his lost late '90s/early '00s years, Waite released some truly affecting pieces of singer/songwriter pop, examinations of New York City life, introspections, possibly autobiographical, on a self-medicating former rock star, and narratives about young musicians dreaming of stardom. And it is songs like these that are the most moving and revelatory in terms of the artist John Waite has become. "Downtown," the tale of the downtrodden former star whose hit song is now more recognizably sung by another, is a window seldom seen into the consciousness of an artist whose more famous days are past him. And, even more impressively, when Waite launches into early career peaks, such as 1982's rocking "Mr. Wonderful" and such '70s Babys material as the "Midnight Rendezvous," or the show closer "Head First," it's like the years have melted away. Here, the man is untethered by his former fame or the weight of past hits, such like that which led the protagonist of "Downtown" to the street corner for his high 15 years ago. It's a man reborn. And for me, it is some small reassurance that maybe you can in fact go home again.

... I believe him. And I don't wish any ill on John Waite, whose music I wouldn't recognize if I heard it. Health and prosperity to him, says I. But dear sweet Lord, if there's anything I would like to remain in blissful ignorance of, it's 80's ballad stables like "Missing You" and "How Did I Get By Without You." I heard enough of those between the ages of 3 and 13 to last a lifetime.

Bad Album Names: RHCP Provides Teachable Moment

The Red Hot Chili Peppers (which is a middling-to-bad band name itself) apparently want to name their new album "Dr. Johnny Skinz's Disproportionately Rambunctious Polar Express Machine-head".

Behold, for ChartAttack does the Lord's Work:

Back down here on planet Earth, we'd like to caution RCHP against going with this title because, well, it's retarded.

Here are another 10 cautionary points (which means don't do it) the band should keep in mind when eventually officially naming their upcoming album:

10) P.M. Dawn — The Bliss Album…? (Vibrations Of Love And Anger And The Ponderance Of Life And Existence)

9) Alanis Morissette Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie

8) No album title should ever be a symbol.

7) Extreme — Extreme III Sides To Every Story

6) George Clinton — Hey Man, Smell My Finger

5) No album should ever be self-titled.

4) Fiona Apple — When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A King
 What He Knows Throws The Blows When He Goes To The Fight 
And He'll Win The Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters The Ring
There's No Body To Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might 
So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand
 And Remember That Depth Is The Greatest Of Heights
 And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To Land 
And If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cause You'll Know That You're Right

3) No album shoULD EvEr ABUSe capitALIZation like THIS.

2) Limp Bizkit — Chocolate Starfish & The Hotdog Flavored Water

1) Butthole Surfers — Hairway To Steven

Album names should never be cute. Like any other name attached to a band, they're the first and most essential peice of marketing. Those guys in Archers of Loaf will never have an interview that doesn't involve talking about their opaque band name.

The idea is to get people thinking about the album, not about the name.

The Vinyl Moneypit

Interesting commisseration amid vinyl afficionados at Amazon. Obsession has its costs.

Also, Record Store Day has this list of releases. Shop well, my friends.

The Double-Helix at Work

Enough of all this blather about the 80's Revival and the coming 90's revival. The real shift in fasion is Aviators vs. Wayfarers.

Old and Busted (for now).

New Hotness (for now)

New Strokes Album

Again with the pink and blue. Did I miss a meeting?

Deep in the Night I'm Lost in Love

It became clear to me on my last birthday, when a friend suggested that I crank some Stooges on vinyl, that I don't have any vinyl Stooges. This unpleasant realization yielded another: I don't have any live Stooges either. So I've set my heart on picking up a vinyl copy of Metallic KO, because it seems so necessary.

But vinyl Metallic KO is like to be expensive. So I thought this might do. But Amazon only sells it in the pricey limited edition form. So I thought Thousand Lights might be interesting. But how many different versions of "1970" do I want to listen to?

The mass of unreleased/unofficial stuff intimidates me. Insight? Because at this point I'm prepared to just go home and listen to Raw Power for the 800th time.

Under the Radar Denounces Blog Hype, Slags Pitchfork

I love it when they fight.

It’s a story that has repeated itself far too often, and for every Arcade Fire or Bon Iver that translated blog momentum into near unanimous acclaim, there was a Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Midlake, Voxtrot, Sound Team, Cold War Kids, or Tapes ‘n Tapes that received a strong push from the blogosphere and found that by the time their second album was released, a lot of people had jumped off the merry-go-round. Without the opportunity to develop a fanbase that would invest time and money in them, those bands found that the same listeners and writers who had championed them had either moved on or weren’t interested in watching a band go through growing pains.

The internet expands, but human memory does not. There's only so much room for so many bands in our hearts or our wallets. I haven't listened to any of those bands, because my music tastes are a lagging indicator. It's very rare for me to get into a band on their first disc; I usually wait until they've been around and have learned to grow. That way, I don't have to sit around waiting for the next record to drop.

The only time I stepped outside of this rule was in 2002-2004, when I made a point of jumping on the Rock Revival bandwagon. This led me to purchases as diverse as the White Stripes and the Vines.

If blogs were the gatekeepers for the indie rock kingdom, Pitchfork were and are the undeniable kingmakers, having essentially launched the careers of Broken Social Scene, Sufjan Stevens, Arcade Fire, and others with one glowing review. The blogs might discover a band, but if that band is going to move beyond the blogs into the larger bloodstream, Pitchfork needs to officially confirm it with a “Best New Music” review.

They do? They are? Why Pitchfork particularly? Why not Spin or Magnet or CHARTattack or that plucky little Under the Radar? Is Pitchfork the hit-king?

Fear the Power of the Dove!

Look, I'm not saying that Powerdove is the worst band name I've ever heard. ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead would beat them out, as would Of Montreal. But Powerdove definitely has that "Really?" effect. It's not clever if its ironic, and it's painful if it isn't.

Cletus ain't amused by yer shenanigans.

I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself

I am actually sad that a band has broken up:

The White Stripes Call it Quits

I suppose this fits. They've made their mark, and Jack has a thousand other things to do. But still. Dammit.

And after all that righteous snark I've thrown at Spin for kicking them so much, Jack & Meg have to go and prove those trend-sucking bottom-feeders right. I am depressed.

We Don't Hear a Single...

Under the Radar reports that "Swedish twee-stars Acid House Kings" (just nod and smile) are going to prevew a handful of tracks from their upcoming album and let their fans vote on the single. This is either:

1. An awesomely awesome marketing move, which will soon be copied by everyone who's anyone!, OR
2. A sign that they have no idea if any of their songs are good enough to be a single.

Only time will tell. They look nice and non-threatening in the picture, though:

Dude? The Upturned Phallic Guitar? Could you BE more Rockist?