Monday, February 28, 2011

Bad Album Names: RHCP Provides Teachable Moment

The Red Hot Chili Peppers (which is a middling-to-bad band name itself) apparently want to name their new album "Dr. Johnny Skinz's Disproportionately Rambunctious Polar Express Machine-head".

Behold, for ChartAttack does the Lord's Work:

Back down here on planet Earth, we'd like to caution RCHP against going with this title because, well, it's retarded.

Here are another 10 cautionary points (which means don't do it) the band should keep in mind when eventually officially naming their upcoming album:

10) P.M. Dawn — The Bliss Album…? (Vibrations Of Love And Anger And The Ponderance Of Life And Existence)

9) Alanis Morissette Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie

8) No album title should ever be a symbol.

7) Extreme — Extreme III Sides To Every Story

6) George Clinton — Hey Man, Smell My Finger

5) No album should ever be self-titled.

4) Fiona Apple — When The Pawn Hits The Conflicts He Thinks Like A King
 What He Knows Throws The Blows When He Goes To The Fight 
And He'll Win The Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters The Ring
There's No Body To Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might 
So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand
 And Remember That Depth Is The Greatest Of Heights
 And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where To Land 
And If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cause You'll Know That You're Right

3) No album shoULD EvEr ABUSe capitALIZation like THIS.

2) Limp Bizkit — Chocolate Starfish & The Hotdog Flavored Water

1) Butthole Surfers — Hairway To Steven

Album names should never be cute. Like any other name attached to a band, they're the first and most essential peice of marketing. Those guys in Archers of Loaf will never have an interview that doesn't involve talking about their opaque band name.

The idea is to get people thinking about the album, not about the name.

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