Guess Who's Still Alive, Part IV: The Revenge

The following artists have Top 25 discs on Amazon as I write:

• Eminem (Stealing the Blues is Business, and Business is Good)
• Iron Maiden (Dude! Most Triumphant!)
• Brian Wilson (Apparently, we aren't quite full up on crazy yet)
• John Mellencamp (I once thought that Cougars don't like him, either. I was apparently wrong)
• Sheryl Crow (Is it just me, or does she look more like Butt-Head every album?)
• Los Lobos (Back from the 80's and hungry, hungry like the wolf!)
• Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (The Rolling Stones of New Wave ride again)
• Gov't Mule (The Rolling Stones of Jam bands ride again)
• The Black Crowes (The Rolling Stones of their tepid imaginations ride again)
• The Kidz Bop Kids (Because all that keeps a Katy Perry song like "California Gurls" from being age-appropriate is an infinitesimal shift in vocal pitch)